7 Tips to Winning Your Ex Back

By: Susan Smart

How do you start the process of winning your ex back? Reactions to a relationship break up are as varied as the reasons for the breakup You might get those who will overindulge with food or alcohol, whilst another will lock themselves away, crying and generally feeling sorry for themselves.

So do you want to get your ex back badly? Are you in a really bad place yourelf? Still smarting over their decision to call it quits? Is you heart empty and do you feel that only the ex can make it recover?

Firstly you need to do whatever is necessary to deal with the pain. If this means getting drunk, then it's not to be recommended!. The reason for this is simple, if you are intent on winning your ex back, then your tactics and that goal have to be kept from the ex. Rolling up in front of them, smelling of alcohol isn't going to do it!

The second thing is do not hunt. Just lay off the emails, the texts and the potential stalking (particularly if, despite what you have just read, you are still thinking of getting drunk!). Don't just happen along wherever your ex happens to be. If your ex gets the idea that they still have power over you, well its hardly that attractive is it? Pestering is not recommended

Make your ex think that you believe the break up was for the best. Communicate this forcefully to who you know. You don't have to explain anything: just plant the ideas. How you behave in the earliest stages sets the scene for winning your ex back.

You do not want to pursue. You want to be pursued. Notice the distinction! Find the time to encourage yourself here. It may even be an idea to rid yourself of depressing notions and write things down. Write down all the positive things about the relationship as well as the not so positive. Once you have finished then tear it all up. Yes, you read that right. Do not send this letter, its for your recovery only.

This stage involves destroying negativity and replacing it with positivity and not verbally attacking your ex. Attempt to get some peace for a time. Then regroup and start planning!

Stay active and stay away from your ex. Take this opportunity to get on with things you have planned to do before but hadn't because of lack of time or focus. Buy a bike, join a club, learn to swim. Whatever you choose to do will be sending a pointed message to your ex that you are moving one and they are not your number one priority any more.

If you start to dwell on the relationship, just think about its strengths Just think about the good times. If despite everything there is some contact, then just be positive and don't fight over any of the issues. This is one of the first actions in winning your ex back, showing them the good in the partnership.

Now for the grand finale! Slow contact only please. Whatever you do you give the message that you are getting on with life. The single most important factor in all of this winning your ex back is to win back your own self respect. This is the chance you need in winning your ex back and for good!

Reprinted from: Communication Skills Articles.

Susan Smart writes about relationship problems, conflict and resolution and contributes to stop breaking up.com To get even more help on this and other problems in your relationship see winning your ex back

Please Rate this Article

5 out of 54 out of 53 out of 52 out of 51 out of 5 

Not yet Rated

Additional Articles From - Home | Relationships | Break Up