Breaking Up Is Hard To Do - Getting Back Together Is Easy

By: Kari Farmer

How to win an ex back is something almost every body thinks about at some point in their relationship career. It's a part of the relationship cycle unless you are the fortunate one who finds your soul mate and never has to let go of them.

Most people don't know how to react when they go through a break up but still have feelings for the other person. Sometimes the very first things we do are the very last things we should be doing.

Going after your ex like a insane stalker is not a good approach when it comes to getting your ex back. You wouldn't appreciate them peeping from behind the bushes when you're trying to relax with a book would you?

When you are constantly calling and crying and leaving thirty messages in a day you're coming off as desperate and nobody wants a desperate ex. You come across as pathetic and your ex has a power over you because you have nothing to give them while they seem to have everything to give you.

If you want to win back someone you still love back then you have to play it cool because you don't want to be too anxious. Anxiety is a really big turn off. This is one of the hardest things to do because you are used to being together all of the time and you feel lonely when you don't have that constant anymore and it can quickly turn into desperate phoning and harassing.

Even though it may be really hard you have to keep calm and don't give into the thoughts that you have that tell you, you have to know what they are doing at every moment of the day. You need to turn it around so they can also feel what you are feeling.

After the breakup you have to keep yourself distracted with friends, family, and things you enjoy doing. This will help keep your mind off your ex and also will help you resist the need to call or contact them.

No matter where you go or what you do, make sure you surround yourself with fun things that make you happy and keep your mind off of your ex. Getting together with a close friend is perfect, but getting together with a large group of friends and hanging out is an even better idea.

The larger group generally means more going on to help distract you and more fun to help with your mood. It's also harder to talk about your ex in a large group than it would be if you and a friend stay around the house and watch a movie.

Here's the important part. Going out and having fun with your friends is one of the best ways to let your ex see that your life is going on without them. The world didn't stop when you broke up and this removes their hold over you which is what makes you feel like a loser. They see you smiling and laughing with other people, and no matter how or why your relationship ended they are going to feel that all important get your ex back emotion: jealousy. And more importantly you can get all that without all the petty games. All you are doing is having a great time with your friends.

Seeing you having fun will remind your ex of the fun times you had as a couple. They used to think that they were responsible for all the fun you two used to share but now you're out laughing and having fun without them.

That's a big kick to anyone's ego, no matter what the reasons that ended your relationship might be because the ego is a powerful thing. In fact most people live off their ego in these situations.

Before you know it your ex will once again see you for the fun and witty person you are and those feelings of love will take over their feelings of the break up and they'll be calling you to hang out before you know it.

Reprinted from: Communication Skills Articles.

Like that tip? For more tips that will help you get your ex back check out "Stop A Breakup".

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