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By: Gary DeWitt
If you really would like to get ex lover back, you have got to do a little soul searching. You have to be totally truthful with yourself. You should decide if you and your ex lover get back together it will really make you delighted, and you will not wind up down the same road that started the breakup in the first place. It's always easy after a breakup to only think of the good times. It is important that you endeavor to be completely impartial and think of both the good times in addition to the bad times. In reality, there are a few relationships that are unworthy of saving. If you and your ex spent more time fighting than you did doing something good and fun, then maybe you should think about moving on. If your ex lover was abusive in any way, it probably wasn't a healthy relationship. If they were mentally unstable, you probably are better off without them. If the relationship overall was a good one, and they weren't abusive, and they were of sound mind, the following should help you and your ex get back together. Pestering and pressing your ex isn't a good idea. If you try to constantly get in touch with your ex; whether its by phone, email, text message, or stalking them you're going to do more harm than good. They will see this as a sign of desperation. This could actually push them further away than bring them closer to you. Don't fight, beg, or plead with your ex lover concerning your past relationship. It is easy when you and your mind are all alone. Your mind comes up with all sorts of "wrongs" that you may have done. Even when your ex broke up with you they may have gave you reasons why. Now, you're probably beating yourself up over them. You could wish you had never done those things. The past is the past. This is the present. Get it in your head that the relationship is currently over. You can't go back in time, though you just might desire you could. Focus on what is happening at the present. The only thing worse than fanatically contacting your ex is to beseech or plead with them. Make promises how you'll change, etc...This will not help you and your ex get back together at all. If you back off, give them some time, and live your life, you'll be doing yourself a big favor in more ways than one. You'll most likely become more desirable to your ex lover, because you are allowing them to think about you and miss you. You'll also be helping yourself to live a happier, more fulfilling life too.
Reprinted from: Communication Skills Articles.
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