Five Killer Strategies To Get Ex Wife Back

By: Steven Kane Lee

She called you nasty names, you called her nastier names but you will want to get ex wife back. The divorce may be final, but your feelings for her aren't. So what's a guy to do?

Your marriage may have slipped through your fingers and you're left wondering how it ever happened. If you want your ex wife back in your life, be prepared to spend a lot of time and energy.

Keep in touch: Making contact with your ex wife is the first order of business. If you have children, this will probably be easier. Proving yourself to her, especially if she's still hurting, will take time. Make all the contact you have totally about her, by asking how she is and getting her to talk about herself and her feelings. If you make this all about you and your hurt or guilt, she'll lose interest.

Admit your mistakes: Marriages are a 50/50 proposition and you must take the blame for at least half of what went wrong. If you're still shaking your head, wondering what you did that drove her away, go to a therapist and talk it over. Maybe see if she'll come to by saying that you need to talk to a therapist about emotional closure. Apologize for your share of the heartache. Once you've finished apologizing, apologize some more.

Beg for forgiveness: It's said that once we've been hurt by someone, we can never forget but we can certainly forgive. The divorce can never be totally put behind the two of you unless she forgives you. Don't wait for her to forgive you. Ask for her forgiveness, then move on. If she keeps revisiting the reasons why you broke up, be loving in your response, and recognize her hurt feelings but tell her that it's time to go forward with the relationship.

Recreate the time when you were courting: Do you remember the early days of your romance before everything started to go wrong? Think about some of the romantic things you used to do and see if you can't recapture some of the magic. Flowers are always a good thing. Little gifts and email notes. Behave towards her as you did when you were first courting and pay just as much attention to her. Make her feel valued and pay attention to how she's feeling.

Find out what she needs: This is where listening skills come into play. Listening and repeating back what she says is important. So is taking action. Maybe your idea of what a loving husband should do for his wife is different that her idea of how a loving husband should behave. This is important information to know, so talk about it and find out what it was that you missed. Once you've determined what her needs really are, don't screw it up again!

Reprinted from: Communication Skills Articles.

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