Marriage: Keeping A Partner Constantly Interested

By: Alexandra Alien

Finding somebody with whom you want to start up a committed relationship is difficult, but making the relationship durable may be even harder. There are no conflict-free relationships. The way in which we handle these conflicts will determine our personalities.

Some spouses will face harder challenges and this causes them to better their relationship or it forces them to break off. Then there are the families that have large conflict situations that happen due to kids becoming teenagers. Regardless of the cause, conflict is inevitable and we all have to face it sooner or later. And to save the relationship we should learn to resolve conflict situations and work on the relationship using diverse tactics.

Evolutionary researchers examined "mate retention strategies" in American men and ladies and found out these strategies include being excessively watchful and threatening violence. Different gender strategies to save relationships were found out.

To assess attributes valued in partners and how they save relationships, researchers of the University of Texas carried out a survey of 214 married people.
Men, more than ladies, admitted that they victimized their social status and financial success as a strategy to keep their mate interested in them, said the authors. Men also reported to keep their spouses interested by making promises of change and threatening sexual betrayal.

Ladies were also more likely than men to take care of their physical appearance, thus keeping men interested.

With regard to infidelity, it was discovered that if a man suspected that his wife was cheating on him, he would attempt to keep his wife from public activities, threaten punishment and criticize other men. Interestingly, ladies who suspected that their husbands were unfaithful did not work on the relationship any harder than those without suspicions.

Unfortunately, some men's tactics included some minor forms of physical abuse of spouses, said the psychologists. For example, in an earlier study, 72% of ladies requiring medical attention reported that their husbands limited their contact with family members and friends, wanted to know the ladies' whereabouts and verbally insulted ladies.

Reprinted from: Communication Skills Articles.

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