The Right Time for Marriage Counseling

By: Mike Justin

In a perfect world, the couple would live happily ever after when they say "I do". Unfortunately, we do not live in a perfect world. And usually, when the wedding day is done, trouble starts to happen.
Whatever the reason, all of a sudden it turns from a happy relationship to a cold and bitter relationship.
In this article, I am going to draw on my experience as a family counselor in San Diego to help a couple decide, when is it time for a couple to seek marriage counseling.
Disagreements, arguments, and fights happen. It is going to happen in a lot of marriages. But there comes a time when a couple needs to decide if it is normal everyday life. Or if what is going on is not normal and time to seek help.
Because left unchecked, problems in marriages can lead to ugly divorces.
So for couples seeking to keep their marriage, here are some key signs to look for and decide if marriage counseling is needed.
The first sign is there constant bickering? Do insignificant things cause arguments? Allthough seemingly no big deal, this could be the beginning of trouble starting.
Second, does it seem hard to say anything nice about each other? This is a sign that you guys are holding contempt towards each other and this is not good.
A third issue to look at is do you find the level of respect between the two of you is gone? In every relationship, there has to be respect.
Fourth sign, do you find a loss of intimacy with each other? This isn't just talking about sex, although sex is a part of it. Is it more than that where the feeling of closeness isn't there anymore?
Fifth, when your spouse is not around are you happier? This is not good and a sign of the start of seperation.
Sixth, is there a loss of trust between one another? One of the biggest things in a relationship is trust. When you are going to live and share your most intimate moments there has to be trust.
Finally, has there been unfaithfulness between one of you? This seems simple and obvious. Sometimes when this does occur, unfortunately some couples choose to ignore it rather than try to deal with the issues.
Of course there are plenty of other signs. But these are some big ones when deciding if it is time to seek a marriage counselor.
If you find yourself experiencing these situations, and saving your marriage is what you want. You have get some professional advice that will help you find ways to help solve these problems.
Often times, a third viewpoint can help immensely and that is where a family counselor can help.

Reprinted from: Communication Skills Articles.

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